Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Meditations on Interweb Dating

In the throes of talks about guys on the return leg of a little road trip last week, a friend of mine recommended that I try online dating. I had a brief, bored-and-sick-at-home foray into this scene over a year ago that scared me off. It just felt so artificial, with all the guys who contacted me all but sending me a copy of their bank statement. For the record, I genuinely don't care what a guy does for a living or how much money he makes so long as he's happy and doesn't complain about his situation without doing anything about it. Really. I think it's unfair that guys have to pay for everything all the time, unless they really want to- then, please, by all means. I won't object to being treated but I am just as happy going dutch. It's just my style.

This makes me sound cooler and nicer than I think I might actually be. See, I took my friend's advice and opened an account on a dating website. Not to brag, but in the past five days I've been contacted by over a dozen guys and only been interested in one of them. It turns out that I am just as discriminating of dudes as I am of clothes. When I shop, I will try on a ton of items and usually leave with nothing. I look at fabric and construction quality, fit and versatility. I am incredibly picky...because I sew and I know what quality work looks like. And because I know what I like, I know what looks good and I don't want to waste my money on something I'm not fully in love with. If I'm not sure about something, I'll wait for a week to see if I'm still thinking about it later. I usually am not (except for this blue sweater from Crossroads that wasn't there when I went back, waah! White person problem!).

When I'm sifting through the racks, there are many items that I pass over with barely a glance. This is how I feel on this dating website. I don't even bother reading a guy's profile unless he's got a great profile photo. Other possible deal breakers include: spirituality, astrological sign and drinking habits. To be fair, God and alcoholism are important considerations, but astrological sign? Really? Yes, really! Do you have any idea how many super sexy but crazy Pisces men have come and gone through my life? I've lost count. I don't even seek them out- they swim their way into my heart before I know what hit me. They should be equipped with some kind of early warning system. Pisces Tsunami approaching! Ahhh!

But seriously. I am concerned about my seemingly judgmental, superficial attitude around meeting men. At least when it comes to this, I don't seem to be as open minded as I've always prided myself on being. The internet venue doesn't always allow people's personalities to shine (and personality goes a long way...) but I definitely have a type and am not interested in giving the time of day to a guy who doesn't immediately excite me...apparently few men do (if you and I have ever gotten down or I've made a pass at you, congratulations! You are extremely attractive).

Men of character are the kind of men you want to marry and let's be honest, I am looking for a life partner of some variety. Thus far I have not succeeded in finding a man of character on the street or the bus or in bars, so the interweb seems to be a reasonable search area. Perhaps the solution here is to date the hot guys first and see if any of them are also men of character. If that doesn't pan out, then I can work on opening up to the witty guys that don't fit my usual type...or astrological preference. Maybe someday I'll even date a Leo guy...maaaaaybe. Baby steps.

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